The Wife Life

How to Survive as a Railroad Wife – Part Four

 

Okay so here is the last part of this series and I think maybe the most important way I survive as a railroad wife but more importantly how my marriage survives the railroad. Part Four of How to Survive as a Railroad Wife is to plan date nights with your railroader. I know this is not always an easy task because of our railroad’s lack of schedule but it’s important to spend one on one time with each other.

Dates nights are something my railroader and I just started doing this year. Our three kids are finally all in an activity together so we have an hour and a half to ourselves every Tuesday night. This is obviously a hit or miss situation because my railroader isn’t always home on a Tuesday night. When he’s not I actually have time to myself but when he is home we’re off to our local pub for wings and beer. It just so happens that at this local pub it’s half price wings night. Bonus!

Since we started doing dates nights I feel we are more connected than we were before. It’s a nice time to just hang out and catch up on life and talk about the future without the distraction of our kids or them interrupting us. We really try not to just talk about our kids too. I know a few other railroad couples who go on couple trips every so often but that’s not really for us. We love being around our kids and wouldn’t want to go on vacation without them so a date night works well for us. Do what works for you! If it’s a scheduled date night…do it! If it’s a weekend away…do it! If it’s a week long all inclusive…do it!

I don’t have any hard and fast statistics on the divorce rate for railroaders but I know it’s high. A lot of railroad marriages don’t last for many reasons. Marriage takes work at the best of times but for railroad couples it takes more work to make them last. Do what it takes to make your marriage last. It’s important and it’s worth it.

 

If you missed Part One, check it out here.

If you missed Part Two, check it out here.

If you missed Part Three, check it out here.

5 thoughts on “How to Survive as a Railroad Wife – Part Four

  1. I love this blog–this is my life! One thing I would like to stress, if you live in Canada and are starting a family, MAKE your husband take paternity leave. At least for the first 3 months. I know it can take a toll on your finances, especially if you are planning to be a SAHM, but hopefully you’ll have 8-9 months to budget. My husband took paternity leave 3 months into the game, but if we knew then what we know now, we would have started it from the beginning. My closest family was 300 km away, I only had acquaintances where we were living and I was not about to call on a stranger to help me out. He did not understand what solo parenting a baby was like until he had to do it. We never fought until the birth of our child. Our fight was “Who is more tired and who deserves to sleep more?” Well, you know the RR schedule ladies. If you’re the breadwinner, you’re going to trump. I was so tired I couldn’t even remember my PIN number. It got better though! You can do this! Anyway, just my two cents.

    1. Great insight Jennifer! We are having our first railroad baby and my railroader isn’t taking paternity leave and I hope we don’t regret it. This is baby number 4 for us so I think I’ll be fine with the help of my other ones. They are super excited to help out so it’s not like I’m burdening them. I know many railroaders who did take paternity leave and their wives loved the extra help. I’m thankful we live in Canada and it’s an option.

  2. We live in Montana and have 4 kids. We have been together for 4 years, married for 2. This year has been the most straining on our relationship. We don’t really ever have time for each other let alone time to talk. About our emotions, how are day was, what the other knew did that may have upset us. Life is so stressful for my husband and I try to keep it together but at the same time, I feel like I’m not allowed to express my feelings without causing an argument. He tells me that I am his only support in life. His company has been quickly declining when it comes to everyone’s morale. So it is very difficult me to find the balance between my feelings/emotions and trying not start an argument. I genuinely feel the need to walk on eggshells when he is home.. I don’t like that and I know he doesn’t but I don’t know what to do..

    1. We just moved to Montana with Montana Rail link. I’ve been a RR wife for 11 of our 15 married years and a military wife before that. We have 2 kids and this blog speaks to so many of the things we have struggled with and many things we have succeeded in overcoming. I’m so glad I found it this morning.

      1. Mandy and Christina, I’m so glad you have found my blog. I’m so sorry I’ve missed seeing these comments. I’ve taken a break from blogging but hoping to get back to it as soon as possible. We had our fourth on July 2nd so I’ve been busy being a mom. These comments make me want to get back to it because I know it’s a hard life and we all need the support.

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